Ghetto Brats, Singing Middle Eastern, Butt-Face

Nothing interesting happened during my morning commute today, so I guess my evening commute wanted to make up for it. I was using my iPad for entertainment, minding my own business but aware that some of my fellow passengers were staring. Then a man gets on with his three, maybe four since he had a stroller, ghetto brats. They were all over the place, like they had too much sugar. Of course, the father doesn’t really discipline them. Instead he stares at my iPad, recognizes what’s on my screen. He goes on to loudly comment to his sons how I’m playing the game he has on his phone, but doesn’t remember the name. The older son tells him the name, after the father gives him a play-by-play description of the game. Mind you, the man was standing right next to my seat. Then his brats proceed to crowd around me, the little girl’s frizzy hair blocking part of my screen, to look at it. I pretend they’re not there, keep playing the game, but raise the angle of my iPad so it’s harder for them to see. Instead of correcting their behavior & telling them it’s rude to get in someone’s space & stare at them (or their screen), he says ” Not that close, man.”

At that moment, the doors leading to the next car open & a heavyset middle aged woman wearing a heard scarf bursts in. She starts singing what sounded like a painfully sad Middle Eastern song. She was so loud I felt the vibrations of her voice on my seat. When she finished her solo, she went thru the car attempting to collect for her performance. She moved on to the next car at the next stop & thankfully the ghetto brats got off with their father too.

I relaxed a bit, glad to be able to sit back & go back to my game without disturbances. Then I noticed that a man in grey trousers & a pink gingham button down shirt was standing next to me, replacing the ghetto brats’ father. No biggie, except he was leaning against the metal bars, so his butt was practically in my face, or the side of it at least. He was leaning on the bars so hard it looked like his butt cheeks were going to squeeze thru them. I was one tap away from telling him to get his a$$ away from my face, but I didn’t want to bring any more attention to myself. Luckily he didn’t stay on long…and he didn’t fart. I think that was his saving grace.

Feel free to post comments or share common experiences, whether in NYC or elsewhere.


2 responses to “Ghetto Brats, Singing Middle Eastern, Butt-Face

  1. I hate when that happens. I remember when this one dude was, literally, sitting on me even though the car was EMPTY! Like why?! I didn’t say anything like an idiot, but now I make sure to stretch and elbow them right in the ass when they do that. Once I swear someone farted, but it always smells like someone farted when the doors open at Roosevelt Ave.

    Why? I don’t know.

    • I once had to go to the chiropractor after a fat old man squeezed himself next to me, contorting my body against the pole for the whole ride.

      As the smell at Roosevelt Ave, it might be all the onion powder they use. I guess they don’t believe you are what you eat…

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